Hey, what’s your name?

So let me tell you a story, it’s a story unlike any other… you might not even believe it. But trust me, it’s true! Unbelievable, but true…

My current birth certificate says my legal name, let’s say it’s “Michelle Lysa”* That is the name my parents gave me. 

After getting my adoption records I found the original birth certificates, one copy says “Baby Jones” 

Another copy says “Michelle Lisa Jones ” (wrong spelling)
My mom says she kept telling the social worker, no it’s “Michelle Lysa ” not “Lysa/Lisa Michelle” but they kept writing that. I asked her why she spelled it differently, she said she saw a fashion designer in her trip to New York with that name and she loved the way it was spelled. 

Just a mistake right? HA! Think again. This is where my life begins to get weird. My birth mother named me “Lysa Michelle” not Lisa Michelle but LYSA Michelle, with the same spelling because a part of her name was spelled like that. That’s what she told me! Honest! Now you’re probably thinking, ‘your parents knew that already. They had to’. Nope. Had no clue just thought the social worker was messing up the names. 

Want to know what else is weird? I have a biological cousin who is the same age as me and her name is “LISA MICHELLE”. My aunt and birth mother were pregnant at the same time…But because no one knew my birth mother was pregnant no one knew that was my name. Ironic isn’t it. My aunt naming her “Lisa Michelle” is purely a coincidence. When I asked my aunt she said she had no idea I even existed. 
Something else unbelievable, my biological brothers name is “Michael”. “Michael & Michelle”…

If only that was the end of the story…

I lived downtown in an apartment complex until I was 4. My birth mother worked in that same complex while we lived there. Did my parents know? NOPE! (I know, unbelievable)

I lived in Roxbury from age 4 on… she lived 5 minutes away on a street I know very well. Had friends who lived there as well. Never knew her. 

My moms brother, my uncle, married a woman named “Kim Jones” from a large family. My aunt married a man “John Jones” from the same family…Years later I found out that those two members of same family are actually cousins of my birth mother. Some craziness right? That one freaked me out. Why? I always said I thought they were related because they all came from a huge family and they have a resemblance to them. 

As I find out things I get more and more confused, frustrated, annoyed, excited & all kinds of other things. Why is everything so coincidental?! Sometimes I feel like it can’t be true and somebody is lying to me. Then some days I think, maybe it’s just the way it’s supposed to be. I don’t know. 

There are a lot of other coincidences that I can’t talk about because I don’t want to. I just don’t want to think of some of the things that are too close to home. Some things are personal for various family members and I wouldn’t intentionally put their business out there. 

Sometimes I look at my life and say “nah, this isn’t real life. Somebody let me know when y’all want to tell me the truth” 

Just waiting for that day.

*all names changed for privacy reasons

Think before you speak…

If I got pregnant I’d put my kid up for adoption…
My best friend said this to me when we were younger. Her reasoning: I’m too selfish, I don’t have that motherly instinct. I wouldn’t know what to do with a kid.
Ok I understand you feel you wouldn’t be a good mother, but really? You really said that to your adopted friend! Like that supposed to be a better option for her. Not thinking of the child she would be giving up just about her selfish needs. To this day that bothers me… ‘I’m too selfish so I’m going to give my kid to someone else’. Who thinks that’s a reason?
Obviously her.
When people say things like that they have no idea what adoption is really about for the child. Sure they are thinking of the parent but not the child. Imagine growing up without your family first before you say something like that. People that have that frame of mind shouldn’t reproduce. If you can be so nonchalant about just giving up your child you shouldn’t have one. There are plenty of women in this world who would do anything to be in your position. To give life to a human being… and for you to take that for granted is disgusting to me. Maybe by now she has changed her mind, I don’t know. We haven’t spoken in years. Maybe that’s one of the reasons that we don’t talk. No clue.
Some people don’t think before they speak which is detrimental to others. If you don’t know what it’s like to be adopted then you shouldn’t speak on it sometimes. Not saying you shouldn’t have an opinion but think before you speak. Words can hurt despite what you think. Especially when you speak to your friends.